The Colorado Counseling Podcast

What is CBT and How Can it Help with Anger Management?

In this episode, we'll be exploring Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) services in Colorado Springs, a powerful approach in managing and overcoming anger issues. CBT is a form of psychotherapy that assists individuals in understanding the connection between their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It's been the subject of extensive research and has demonstrated significant success in helping people handle their anger in healthier ways.
Whether you're struggling with anger issues, know someone who is, or are simply interested in learning more about mental health care options, this episode is for you. We'll delve into helpful CBT skills for anger management, and explore how CBT can help stop 'mind reading' - a common cognitive distortion that can exacerbate anger issues.
Furthermore, we'll discuss how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can boost self-esteem, which is often affected by unmanaged anger. So, sit back, relax, and join us on this journey of understanding and managing anger through CBT.

What is Stonewalling, and How to Handle Disrespect in a Relationship?

In the latest episode of the Colorado Counseling Podcast brought to you by Overcomers Counseling, we talk about the complex issue of stonewalling and disrespect in relationships.
We explore what stonewalling means and how it can be detrimental to a relationship's health and progress. We discuss why partners shut down during conflicts, and provide practical advice on how to talk to your partner when they shut down.
We also probe deeper into the philosophical and scientific reasons behind grief in relationships. This includes understanding the emotional responses that contribute to stonewalling and disrespect.
We offer affirmations you can use to communicate better with your partner, and ways to respect and value yourself when facing disrespect. For those seeking actionable steps, we share steps to take when your partner disrespects you.
The episode further emphasizes the importance of therapy and counseling in addressing these issues. We discuss how relationship therapy for couples can be a beneficial tool in managing and overcoming relationship challenges.
Whether you're in Colorado Springs or Aurora, Overcomers Counseling provides tailored therapy for couples to help navigate through these difficult situations. Tune in to gain insights and practical advice on improving communication, fostering respect, and cultivating healthier relationships.
 
 
We’re exploring a communication challenge that can unravel even the strongest of bonds - stonewalling. If you’re aware of this behavior or discovering it for the first time, learn about what stonewalling is and learning how to address it is key to improving your relationships and fostering emotional intimacy.
What is Stonewalling?
Stonewalling occurs when one partner withdraws from a conversation or interaction, either emotionally or physically. It can take many forms, such as avoiding eye contact, giving one-word answers, offering the silent treatment, or simply refusing to engage in the discussion. Individuals stonewall for various reasons, but the result is often the same—emotional withdrawal that can leave the other partner feeling frustrated, ignored, or hopeless.
Picture this scenario. You’re sharing your feelings with your partner, and suddenly they stop responding. They cross their arms, look away, and become totally unresponsive. You ask them to speak, but they remain silent, creating an emotional barrier that feels impossible to penetrate. That’s stonewalling behavior in action.
Stonewalling is one of the “Four Horsemen” of relationship breakdown identified by relationship expert John Gottman. Left unaddressed, it can erode trust, reduce understanding, and cause relationships to become emotionally disengaged over time.
 
Why Does Stonewalling Occur?
People stonewall for a variety of reasons, but it is often a defense mechanism. Here are some common causes of stonewalling in relationships:
Feeling OverwhelmedFor some, shutting down is a way to reduce stress when emotions run high. They feel unable to communicate effectively and rely on self-protection by disengaging.
Conflict-Averse BehaviorCertain individuals simply don’t know how to handle conflict and avoid it at all costs. By emotionally disengaging, they hope to bypass the discomfort of disagreement.
Unresolved IssuesStonewalling can stem from deep-seated, lingering tensions in the relationship. When such a thing persists, it becomes harder to communicate about even unrelated topics without triggering a shutdown.
Intentional StonewallingAlthough less common, some engage in intentional stonewalling as a form of emotional abuse. This involves deliberately creating an emotional distance to punish or control the other partner, leaving them feeling demeaned and invalidated.
Unintentional StonewallingNot all cases of stonewalling are intentional. Some individuals may not even realize they’re disengaging emotionally. They may simply lack the tools to express their feelings during heated moments, leading to two-word responses or complete silence.
Understanding the underlying cause is essential in addressing stonewalling. It’s not always about refusing to listen but often stems from a desire to self-soothe when emotions feel overwhelming.
The Impact of Stonewalling on Relationships
Stonewalling doesn’t only affect the immediate conversation—it can have significant long-term consequences for the relationship itself. Here are some ways stonewalling negatively affects romantic relationships, friendships, and even workplace interactions:
Erodes Emotional IntimacyWhen one partner consistently disengages, it creates an emotional barrier. This can leave the stonewalled partner feeling dismissed, invalidated, or unimportant—all of which reduce intimacy over time.
Builds ResentmentWhen communication breaks down repeatedly, conflicts aren’t resolved, and small misunderstandings can fester into larger issues, leading to feelings of anger or disdain for both partners.
Causes MiscommunicationWithout conversation, assumptions take over. This can magnify misunderstandings, leaving individuals feeling frustrated and disconnected.
Impacts Mental HealthFor both partners, stonewalling can take a toll on emotional well-being. The person who shuts down may feel guilty or isolated, while the other partner may experience anxiety, depression, or a sense of hopelessness.
If stonewalling continues, its effects spread far and wide, impacting trust, emotional safety, and a couple's ability to work through issues. However, there are ways to address it effectively and rebuild communication.
Strategies to Address Stonewalling
Overcoming stonewalling takes patience, understanding, and a willingness from both partners to heal harmful patterns. Here are some practical strategies to bridge the communication gap and create a safe space for both parties to express themselves.
1. Create a Safe Space
When stonewalling occurs, the individual shutting down is often in a state of emotional overload. Instead of pushing them to talk, acknowledge their feelings and provide reassurance. Saying something like, “I understand you’re feeling overwhelmed; I’d like us to discuss this when you’re ready,” can go a long way in de-escalating the situation.
2. Take Breaks
Sometimes, the best thing you can do during emotionally charged conversations is to pause. Suggest taking 15-20 minutes to self-soothe, allowing both parties to regain composure. Come back to the conversation with a calmer, clearer perspective.
3. Use ‘I’ Statements
Avoid phrases that feel like accusations. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try expressing, “I feel hurt when we can’t share our feelings openly.” This reduces the chance of triggering your partner's reaction to defend themselves.
4. Address Stonewalling Behavior with Empathy
Instead of focusing on how the behavior makes you feel, try to explore the underlying cause with curiosity. For example, “I’ve noticed you tend to shut down during arguments. Is there something I can do to help you feel comfortable speaking?”
5. Practice Active Listening
When your partner stonewalls, it may reflect their fear of being misunderstood or judged. Show them you’re fully aware of their emotions by practicing active listening. This involves maintaining eye contact, paraphrasing their concerns, and asking thoughtful, non-judgmental questions.
6. Seek Professional Help
If stonewalling in a relationship has become a recurring issue, consider working with a relationship therapist. A mental health professional can help both partners develop communication strategies and unravel the deeper emotional challenges contributing to stonewalling.
7. Focus on Self-Care
Both partners can benefit from investing in their mental health. Engage in activities that lower stress and build resilience, such as mindfulness practices, journaling, or simple self-care routines like yoga or walking in nature.
8. Celebrate Positive Change
If your partner begins to engage in conversations more openly, take the time to reinforce this behavior. Statements like, “I really appreciate you sharing how you feel,” can sustain the progress and build trust in the relationship.
Continue to Grow
Stonewalling has the potential to cause emotional harm, but it’s never too late to turn things around. Seek to understand why people stonewall and working collaboratively on solutions, so you can strengthen your emotional connection. Communication takes effort from both people, but the rewards—a more open, trusting, and loving bond—are well worth striving for.
If stonewalling has caused unresolved issues in your relationship, know that professional help is available. At Overcomers Counseling, we understand how important it is to rebuild communication and emotional closeness. Our team of relationship therapists is committed to helping you reconnect with your partner in a safe, supportive environment.
Call us today at 719-345-2424 or visit OvercomeWithUs.com to take the first step toward overcoming stonewalling and creating stronger, healthier relationships.
Your relationship deserves attention, care, and love—and by addressing stonewalling, you’re already taking a big step toward a brighter future together.

Self Help for Students

These self help strategies for students will you or someone you care about manage the education experience. The pressures surrounding the education process are everywhere, and these strategies can help one thrive. Subscribe for more from the Colorado Counseling Podcast by Overcomer's Counseling in Colorado Springs. 

What is Grief? And How Can Therapy Help?

In the latest episode of the Colorado Podcast, brought to you by Overcomers Counseling, we delve into the complex and often misunderstood world of grief. We explore what grief is, why we experience it, and how therapy and counseling approaches can help those who are grieving.
We begin by examining the nature of grief. From both philosophical and scientific perspectives, we discuss the reasons behind our experience of grief. This exploration provides listeners with a deeper understanding of this universal human experience.
One particularly intriguing aspect of grief that is discussed in this episode is the emotional reaction of anger. Drawing on insights from an article titled "5 Reasons Why Grieving People Get Angry", we dissect the relationship between grief and anger, providing a nuanced perspective on why these two emotions often coexist.
Our conversation then turns to the therapeutic approach to grief. Using the resources from Overcomers Counseling's dedicated pages on therapy for grief in Aurora and Colorado Springs grief therapists, we highlight the role of counseling in navigating grief. We also share some affirmations that can be helpful during the healing process.
Lastly, we address a common phenomenon associated with grief - its intensification during the night and early morning. The discussion is informed by insights from the article, "5 Reasons Why Grief Gets Worse at Night and Early Morning", shedding light on why grief can feel more overwhelming during these times.
This episode of the Colorado Podcast offers a comprehensive look at grief, providing listeners with valuable insights and resources to help them or their loved ones navigate the grieving process. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of this complex emotional journey and the support available through counseling and therapy.

Managing Trauma Triggers from Embarrassing Memories

In this episode, we discuss how to deal with embarrassing memories.
We'll start by exploring why such memories occur, based on insights from leading psychologists and experts.  We'll also discuss how these memories can trigger traumatic responses and why they can be so persistent.
We'll also share affirmations that you can use during moments of weakness. These affirmations are aimed at fostering self-love, acceptance, and resilience, helping you navigate through the discomfort these memories might bring.
If you're seeking help in managing trauma triggers, our team of licensed trauma therapists in Colorado Springs and Aurora, Colorado trauma counselors are here to support you. We understand the complexities of dealing with such triggers and offer personalized therapy tailored to your needs. For those who prefer convenience or need privacy, we also offer online therapy sessions, ensuring you can access the help you need no matter where you are.
Join us for this enlightening episode as we journey together towards understanding, managing, and overcoming embarrassing and intrusive memories.
 
 
How to Manage Embarrassing memories, OCD, and Trauma Triggers
Everyone has experienced moments that make them cringe—a misplaced joke, a stumble in public, or a memory that keeps replaying in your mind long after the incident. These embarrassing memories are a natural part of life, but for some, they can evoke deeper emotional triggers, stirring feelings of shame, anxiety, or even contributing to symptoms of depression. For individuals who have experienced trauma, these moments may even connect to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), where the memory can feel overwhelming, impacting their ability to respond to everyday situations with ease.
These instances often remind us of vulnerable times in our lives, triggering not just embarrassment but a cascade of emotions. Learn about these common reactions can help us make sense of the connection between embarrassment and trauma, fostering a path toward healing. If it’s finding ways to treat PTSD or exploring tools to process emotions, then the goal is to shift these experiences into something more positive. Let's take a look at how these moments intersect with mental health and well-being, and how strategies like acknowledging and even writing about them can help us cope with both simple embarrassment and more complex trauma-related triggers.
Embarrassing Memories and Their Impact
Picture this scenario shared during the podcast—a formal work event, laughter echoing through the room, and then you trip on the dance floor in front of everyone. The silence, the piercing gaze of the crowd, and that consuming feeling of wanting to disappear. Sounds familiar? For most people, such moments fade with time, chalked up as a silly mishap or a learning experience. But for others, these memories stick.
Sometimes, embarrassing memories go beyond surface-level discomfort. They can spark specific emotions such as shame, anxiety, or a racing heart, particularly for individuals dealing with PTSD symptoms or past traumatic experiences. The connection between these moments and trauma triggers becomes stronger when the memory is tied to a deeper hurt, such as exposure to past trauma like sexual abuse, neglect, or loss.
Trauma Triggers and Their Role
Trauma triggers are reminders—conscious or unconscious—that take us back to a traumatic event. They might emerge as sensory triggers, like certain smells or sounds, or as intrusive thoughts linked to past experiences. For trauma survivors, these reminders evoke reactions that mimic the original trauma’s emotional or physical sensations, often leaving the person feeling overwhelmed.
Here’s an important takeaway from the podcast—feeling triggered is not a sign of weakness. It’s your brain’s way of processing unresolved emotions linked to the trauma. For many survivors, triggers can manifest as sudden fear, flashbacks, feelings of panic, or physical discomfort like tightness in the chest. Recognizing these reactions as normal can be the first step toward healing.
Common Triggers
Triggers can stem from a variety of sources, and they’re different for everyone. Some examples include:
Specific locations where the traumatic experience occurred.
Certain smells associated with a distressing memory.
Sensory triggers, like hearing a particular sound or tone of voice.
Intrusive memories tied to the trauma.
Stressful situations that remind the person of their past self or a moment of weakness.
The impact of trauma feels deeply individual but also universally human. Understanding this allows us to approach our mental health with the empathy it demands.
Coping Strategies for Trauma Triggers
Dealing with trauma isn’t about erasing it from your memory but finding ways to live alongside it. Effective coping mechanisms can help manage the distressing symptoms associated with traumatic experiences or embarrassing memories. The podcast explored several helpful methods, including mindfulness techniques, therapeutic strategies, and healthy habits for emotional self-care.
Mindfulness to Stay in the Present Moment
One of the most powerful tools for interrupting a triggered response is mindfulness. By focusing on the present moment, you can ground yourself and regain mental clarity.
Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or journaling in a daily diary allow you to focus on what’s happening right now instead of reliving the trauma.
Seek Professional Help
For those struggling with persistent or overwhelming responses, seeking support from a trained counselor can make all the difference.
Methods like Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) and Prolonged Exposure Therapy are highly effective for trauma survivors. Therapists work with you to identify triggers, reshape thought patterns, and gradually reduce the intensity of emotional and physical reactions.
There is no shame in reaching out for professional support. Seek treatment if trauma triggers are interfering with your ability to live fully. Healing is a process, and you don’t have to go through it alone.
Self-Awareness and Other Coping Practices
Know your own triggers requires cultivating self-awareness. Reflect on what causes your reactions and why certain events or stimuli impact you deeply. Combining this understanding with coping strategies like grounding exercises, physical movement, or creative outlets can help diffuse tension over time. These practices reduce the emotional charge of triggers and strengthen your ability to recover from distressing moments.
Finding Connection and Growth
If embarrassing memories or trauma reminders feel too heavy, take heart in the knowledge that growth comes from facing these feelings head-on. Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. Laugh at your mistakes and use them to propel personal progress rather than letting them keep you stuck.
The podcast closes with an empowering reminder—not one awkward moment defines who you are. Embarrassment, like trauma, is part of being human. Every experience, no matter how painful, holds opportunities to heal, focus, and ultimately grow into the YOU that lives beyond the influence of trauma. Whether you’re facing memories, stress, or deep emotional pain, you have the inner resilience to overcome.
Overcomers Counseling Is Here for You
At Overcomers Counseling, we understand the complexity of trauma and the unique challenges faced by individuals. Our team is here to help you map out a healing path, offering personalized strategies to cope, find connections, and reclaim your mental well-being.
If you're ready to take the first step, reach out to our office today at 719-345-2424 or visit our website at overcomewithus.com. Whether it’s through therapy for PTSD, guidance to unlock your past self, or emotional tools tailored to you, we’re committed to your progress.
Trauma survivors don’t just overcome—they thrive. Thank you for reading, and don’t forget to tune in next time for more reflections, strategies, and discussions on our podcast. Together, we can transform challenges into stories of growth.
Our therapists accept many different types of insurance.
Closing Thoughts
Life is full of unpredictable, messy, and even awkward moments. Whether facing embarrassing memories, trauma triggers, or both, it’s human to feel stuck at times. But you are more than your past; you are a survivor with the ability to move forward toward healing.
Seek professional help, surround yourself with those who understand, and don’t hesitate to try different ways of managing triggers until you find what works for you. No moment, no memory, no trauma is stronger than the person you are building today.

The Types of Narcissism and Coping with Depression

Welcome to a new episode of the Colorado Counseling podcast, proudly presented by Overcomers Counseling. In today's insightful discussion, we explore the intricate world of narcissism - its diverse types, the impact it can have, and the unique challenges faced by those living or working around individuals with this personality type.
We delve deep into the different types of narcissists, shedding light on their distinct traits and behaviors. Understanding these variations is crucial in navigating interactions with such personalities effectively. You can learn more about this from our comprehensive guide on 6 Different Types of Narcissists.
One critical aspect often overlooked is that narcissists, too, can struggle with mental health issues like depression. In this episode, we discuss how narcissists can cope with depression, offering hope and practical strategies. Our blog post, 5 Ways Narcissists Can Cope With Depression, offers further insights on this topic.
If you or someone you know is dealing with depression, remember that help is available. Overcomers Counseling provides individual therapy sessions that can be a valuable resource in managing depression. We help provide Colorado Springs with Depression Therapy and other areas throughout Colorado. We also offer virtual therapy if you are not in the Colorado area
Whether you're seeking to understand narcissism better or searching for ways to cope with depression, our podcast aims to bring clarity and support.

Grief, Addiction, and Family Therapy

In this episode, we delve deep into the complex world of addiction, the impact it has on families, and the path to recovery. We also explore the often misunderstood topic of grief and how to navigate through it.
The episode also sheds light on the work of some of the top addiction counselors in Colorado Springs, who are making a significant difference in the community. Additionally, it emphasizes the importance of family therapy and counseling in healing from addiction and coping with grief, proving that no one needs to walk these challenging paths alone.
Based in Colorado Springs, Overcomers Counseling is renowned for its professional therapy services, and we work with therapists that accept Medicaid, providing support to those who need it most.

Narcissism in Siblings and Toxic Co-Parenting

Welcome to the latest episode of the Colorado Counseling Podcast, your source for expert insights into mental health and relationship dynamics.
In this episode, we explore the often overlooked and misunderstood world of family dynamics, particularly focusing on narcissism in siblings. Find out about the 5 signs of a narcissistic sibling as we dissect the impact of narcissism on familial relationships.
In the second segment, we take a look into the complexities of co-parenting, especially when toxicity infiltrates the equation. Learn about the 7 signs you're in a toxic co-parenting relationship and gain valuable strategies to navigate these challenging scenarios while ensuring the welfare of your children.
Other siblings may not realize the abusive behavior is happening.
Narcissistic Siblings Podcast Episode
Sibling relationships can be a source of joy and support, but what happens when your sibling exhibits narcissistic traits? A narcissistic sibling can create a toxic family dynamic through manipulation, emotional abuse, and a lack of empathy, leaving you questioning your own reality and self esteem. If you’ve felt confused, hurt, or drained by these interactions, you’re not alone.
Here are five common signs of narcissistic tendencies in siblings and provides actionable coping strategies to protect your emotional well-being and foster personal growth.
Five Signs of a Narcissistic Sibling
Living with a narcissistic family member, whether it’s a sister, younger sister, or narcissistic brother, can be challenging. They often prioritize their own needs and self importance, diminishing those around them. Here are five signs that may indicate you’re dealing with a narcissistic sibling, along with how these behaviors manifest in family relationships.
1. Plays You Against a Parent
A narcissistic person often thrives on control and manipulation. They may pit you against your parents or other family members by fabricating lies, creating conflict, or guilt-tripping. For instance, they might convince your parents that you’ve said or done something hurtful, leaving you to manage the fallout. This constant create conflict tactic fractures the family unit, making them appear as the victim while you’re seen as the aggressor.
What You Can Do?
Document these incidents to maintain clarity around your own reality.
Set healthy boundaries by steering clear of conversations where they attempt to involve you in confrontations with other family members.
2. Secretly Blames You for Their Problems
Narcissistic siblings rarely take responsibility for their actions. Instead, they covertly shift blame onto you, promoting a narrative of your “faults.” This behavior can damage your self confidence and contribute to low self esteem.
What You Can Do?
Practice self compassion and remind yourself that their blame-shifting is a reflection of their insecurities, not your worth.
Engage in assertiveness skills to call out unjust blame without escalating the situation.
3. Openly Criticizes You to Others
Not only do narcissistic individuals secretly blame you, but they may also openly criticize or paint a negative picture of you to their friends, extended family, or acquaintances. If someone mentions stories about you that don’t match your reality, this may be an indication that your sibling is attempting to gain narcissistic supply by tearing you down.
What You Can Do?
Build a support network of trusted individuals who truly know your character and can offer emotional support.
4. Creates False Memories
One hallmark of a narcissistic sibling is their ability to fabricate or distort past events. These manufactured narratives often paint them as the victim or hero while subtly undermining you. Over time, this behavior can leave you questioning your own reality and lead to self doubt.
What You Can Do?
Journal your experiences to preserve your truth. Reflecting on documented events can help validate your feelings and counter any distorted narratives.
5. Pretends to Be Your Close Friend
Finally, your sibling may act friendly to maintain appearances or use their “nice” behavior as leverage later on. This constant swing between friendliness and undermining creates emotional confusion and can foster trauma bonding.
What You Can Do?
Focus on tolerating abuse less by maintaining firm boundaries and resisting attempts to manipulate you with false camaraderie.
Coping with a Narcissistic Sibling
Recognizing these behaviors is the first step toward breaking free from a toxic relationship. Coping doesn’t mean tolerating abuse or engaging in endless confrontation—it means protecting yourself and fostering healing.
1. Establish Healthy Boundaries
Setting firm boundaries is essential when dealing with a narcissistic sibling. Boundaries protect your mental health by creating clear expectations for behavior. Communicate these boundaries calmly and firmly, and hold them even in the face of pushback.
2. Seek Support
Engage with trusted loved ones or a qualified therapist for guidance. Speaking with a therapist not only validates your experiences but also helps you develop coping strategies and practical tools for navigating family dynamics.
3. Prioritize Self-Care
Practicing self care, such as mindfulness techniques, exercise, or journaling, can bolster your emotional resilience. Pay attention to your needs, nurture your emotional well-being, and carve out time for activities that foster joy and connection.
4. Develop Self-Awareness and Self-Compassion
By focusing on developing self-awareness, you can separate your own identity and self-worth from your sibling’s behavior. Self compassion is your safeguard against the guilt and self doubt that often come with narcissistic abuse.
5. Avoid Toxic Family Dynamics
Sometimes, stepping back from toxic parents, extended family members, or environments that enable your sibling’s behavior is necessary for healing. Surround yourself with people who nurture healthy relationships and recognize your intrinsic worth.
The Healing Process
Healing from the effects of a narcissistic sibling is a process that involves time, support, and professional guidance. By fostering nurturing relationships, practicing assertiveness skills, and seeking resources to develop coping strategies, you can begin to reclaim your sense of self and restore balance.
Dealing with a narcissistic sister or brother can be particularly challenging within your own family, especially when mental disorders or mental illness are involved, as the golden child dynamic often amplifies tension, making even the slightest criticism feel overwhelming - this is why it’s essential to practice mindfulness to maintain emotional balance.
It’s okay to love your sibling while still prioritizing your own well-being. You deserve respect, peace, and a strong sense of self-confidence, free from the shadow of their narcissistic tendencies.
If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist who specializes in family problems and personality disorders. You are not alone, and with the right tools and support, you can create a healthier and more fulfilling life for yourself.